Support For Families

Mental health is crucial to our physical health and many times people suffer excessively feeling isolated and alone in their struggles. In the last couple of years, the number of patients struggling with their mental health or the mental health of a family member has grown significantly. Worse, the number of youth struggling with self-harm and suicidal thoughts seems to be growing exponentially with more families feeling lost and alone trying to support their loved ones.

Suicide is the second most common cause of death among people ages 10-24. From 1990-2015 teen suicide rates were up 15% but from 2020-2021 they went up again by more than 50% and continued to increase in 2022 and 2023. Self-harm has increased as well. We hope that by bringing awareness to this disturbing trend and offering support to the community, we can help change this pattern.

We will be offering a support group for family members of those struggling with self-harm and suicidal thoughts—primarily parents and caregivers (other family members may be allowed on a case-by-case basis). This group will meet on Tuesdays at 6 pm at Raja Wellness Elizabethtown. 

 I asked our psychotherapist, Brian Miller, to offer some suggestions for family members: 

    Suicide is a very complex issue to try to manage and can be filled with emotions. The first thing that most people need to understand is that it is alright not to know what to do or how to respond to the situation. It takes mental health professionals time to understand how complex and nuanced it is and to be comfortable talking with clients about the issue. There are many levels of suicidal behaviors including passive, active, and self-harm i.e. cutting or burning. Passive is thoughts that you would be better off dead or “not here anymore” and active is making a plan and beginning to work out how to carry out that plan. 

The key is communication, being open to talking about this with your loved one, and being ready to hear what they have to say—without judgment. If someone in your life makes suicidal statements or engages in self-harming behaviors it is important to talk about it openly and honestly, ignoring it will not make it go away. Do not be afraid to ask them if they are feeling suicidal or are having suicidal thoughts, you will not be placing those thoughts in their mind— they are probably there already. 

The next step is to have them screened for suicidality by a professional as there are many levels of self-harm and there are interventions that can be started to manage the issue. There are many resources for people to access 24 hours a day for the risk of suicide including 988 hotlines and others and this can lead to local resources that can help. You can also reach out to Raja Wellness and I can assist with what steps can be taken next. Parenting is not easy and often you feel isolated and alone—but remember you are not and there are people that want to help

By: Brian Miller, LCSW

Getting our kids to eat healthily doesn’t have to be a nightmarish challenge. You don’t have to be a chef to make delicious meals the family will enjoy; you don’t have to be a master negotiator either. Getting our families to eat more healthily often starts with what is most readily available in the home and our own habits and attitudes when it comes to food. Children often mimic us caregivers—so leading by example can be very effective (for all of us!).

Here are a few tips and reminders to help instill those healthy habits—easily!

  1. Lead by example: Do you display healthy eating habits? Do you choose whole, healthy foods instead of chips or sweets? Is it considered a “treat” when you all sit down for a healthy meal for dinner, or do you save that term for the Friday night take-out pizza or greasy bag of burgers from the drive-thru? Do your kids see you choosing water when you’re thirsty or guzzling back a can of soda? Kids are easily influenced by what goes on in their personal environments; and the choices we make in front of them about food and drink should be considered just as much as, say—not letting a curse word slip in front of them.  
  1. Involve the family in meal planning: Meal planning can be quite fun, and involving everyone ensures that each family member has something to look forward to when it comes to sitting down at the table for a family meal.  If one family member wants a dish that another family member isn’t so crazy about, think of a simple variation you can make so that it’s more enjoyable for them and you don’t have to cook a separate meal. 
  1. Offer (healthy) options: Providing options gives your child the autonomy they crave, while helping you have some control of the nutritional value of their food. Offer things that you know they like—such as apple slices or whole grain crackers with almond butter for a snack. If there’s a vegetable they really like, offer to serve it a couple of different ways with your meal and see which they prefer. Offering choices doesn’t just give them a sense of inclusiveness and independence, it is also is a time saver for you. Instead of scrambling to find a replacement when your kid turns a nose up to something, you can have more confidence about your kid actually eating what you serve them. 
  1. Mix things up: You may have a picky eater, but you don’t have to surrender!  Preparing foods they may not typically love but in different ways may just pique their curiosity.  Consider using different seasonings or methods of cooking, or even making the food more visually appealing and fun for kids. Try using small cookie cutters in shapes or characters they like; or little colorful silicone cups. The key is not to force it. Invite your kids to try something new and different and if they prefer not to try it—describe what it tasted like and tell them why you liked it. 
  1.  Educate your kids about food and where it comes from. Have you ever taken your child to a farmer’s market? This is a great way to learn about where food comes from, the care that is taken in growing and harvesting it, and opens lines of communication with local farmers; and your kid will likely enjoy the experience! There’s also the visual and learning aspect—the colors of homegrown fruits and vegetables are often more vibrant! I also recently learned from our friends at Living Water Ranch that the yellowish tint I’ve noticed in the beef fat means high beta-carotene content. This shows you that beef is a good source of Vitamin A. Even us adults can learn new things at the farmer’s market! Spending some family time at a farmer’s market can make for some great memories and can also be educational (and not to mention, quite affordable!)

These changes may need to be done gradually, and it may take some time for everyone to adjust. If the habits have been in place for a while, just remember to practice patience, understanding, and open dialogue, and the payoff will be huge—with better nutrition, overall health, improved energy, money, and time savings in the end. Eating healthy won’t seem like a “downer” or “punishment”; but a real treat that can be easily shared among the family—and can instill healthy habits that can last a lifetime.

As a society, I feel we share a responsibility to show and teach gratitude to children.  Often, the responsibility to teach values such as gratitude falls upon parents.  Although parents may be the primary source of interaction and teaching for their children, we can all contribute by sharing this important gift to future generations.  

Gratitude isn’t simply ignoring the difficult areas in life.  It is seeing everything.  In most cases, there will be a positive and a negative.  Gratitude doesn’t mean we ignore the negative.  We simply find a way to understand it.  How can we teach this to our children when as adults we tend to struggle with it?  The most simple method is by example.  

One of the easiest ways a caregiver (parent, grandparent, step-parent, babysitter, etc) can display daily gratitude is simply telling your child “I love you” and “I am grateful for you”.  This is a simple phrase that even an infant can interpret as positive words of gratitude.  

The simple phrase “thank you” is a form of gratitude that all adults can use with children.  The key to this phrase is to use it appropriately.  When not used at all children may feel ignored and unappreciated.  When overused they may require a thank you for normal daily chores.  The key is to use thank you at a moment when you are genuine.  Just like adults, children appreciate honesty when they are being acknowledged.

Lastly, listening and making eye contact with a child who is speaking is a simple way to convey gratitude.  By doing this we communicate that their words, thoughts, emotions matter and we display gratitude for their input.  

These examples only scratch the surface for teaching gratitude to children.  However, simple steps tend to build and create amazing change.  Implementing these three ideas can create an excellent start for a child to see gratitude being expressed and learn how to share this wonderful attribute.  

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